Buttered Ear

I was over at Deanna's this weekend hanging out and really pissed her off.

Let me explain our relationship: We are not "together" in the sense that we are planning on getting married one day. Basically, I am just drilling her and I enjoy hanging out with her because she is very funny. We are always playing jokes on one another.

For example, she has pulled the shaving cream in the hand while you sleep trick on me, she filled my mailbox with ping pong balls and she tried to rub deodorant under my nose while I was sleeping and ask me questions. She claimed the deodorant acted as sort of a truth serum but it only woke me up and I smelled Teen Spirit "Cool Coconut" for the next day. I have Saran Wrapped her toilet and shaved about a 1/4 of her cat's hair off. You know just childish pranks that we both seemed to enjoy.

So this weekend when I pulled the prank that pissed her off, I didn’t think twice about it. We were in her bed and I was warming up the dinner by strumming on her oversized bliss button. From time to time I would dip into her honey hole and get a little panty butter on my finger(s). I had her worked up pretty good so there was an overflow of nectar and that is when the thought hit me.

Some call it the Wet Wanda. Others may call it the Saucy Susan. I prefer to call it the Buttered Ear.

The Buttered Ear is simple:

While pleasing a female with your finger(s), you lube said finger(s) up real good and then stuff them into the female’s ear - The Buttered Ear.

So while I was pleasing Deanna with my fingers, the Buttered Ear idea popped into my head. I thought we would get a good laugh out of it and then I would destroy that little fire hole of hers; I was wrong.

Right after I stuck my fingers in her ear, she elbowed me in the nose and then cussed me out. I didn’t get all that she said, but the gist of it was that I had "ruined the mood" and that I needed to get the hell out of there. As I was getting dressed she pulled out Paul Bunyan (her pleasure toy) and said; "While you're driving home, I'll be here getting off with this". I probably could have stayed and watched her knock the bark off that log but I was pretty angry so I left but not before I threw her phone in the toilet and backed over her mail box