Confused

I was sitting around the house yesterday hanging out with Luke when I got a call from Melanie (a “friend” of mine). She informed me that her dishwasher was leaking and asked if I could come over and repair it. Please, before you start asking me how to repair appliances and whatnots around your house, understand that Tom Kraeutler I am not. I am just someone who gets lucky from time to time with some things around my house.

I informed Melanie that I could not help her due to Luke. That is when she offered her younger sister’s services. Her sister, Kayla, is very attractive and if she were not 17, I would have already tried to roger her. Honestly, if I knew no one would find out, I would have already tried, but seeing as how I don’t think I would do too well in prison, I have ignored my animalistic feelings toward her. To make matters worse, Melanie has informed me that Kayla thinks I am “hot” – damn that age thing. Kayla has babysat for me before, and while she is expensive ($25 an hour), Luke really seems to enjoy her and she is saving up her money to go on her senior class cruise. Seeing as how both of these women needed my services, I agreed to help.

Once they arrived at my home, of course there was the awkward eye contact with Kayla and Melanie didn’t help matters when she grabbed my cack and then kissed me (yes, she is a tramp).

When Melanie and I arrived at her house, I soon realized when she said her dishwasher was leaking, she really meant her moose lip was leaking and she needed me to plug it. Kayla has her faults, but due to her having an oversized clitoris (my theory); she has a very impressive sex drive. She has informed me that it’s nothing for her to rub one out 2 or 3 times a day. A couple of my friends have dated her and eventually broken up with her because they can’t keep up, or they find out she has been sluttin’ around on them. For the next few hours we tussled in her bed, on her kitchen table, and in her bath tub. By the way ladies, if any of you happen to have one of those jetted tubs in your home, it seems to really do the trick on the highest setting if you know what I mean.

Anyway, once we finished, we headed back over to my place. It was late, so Luke had already gone to bed and Kayla was watching ‘Flavor of Love’. We finished watching it and as they were getting ready to leave, Melanie started looking through Kayla’s purse (Kayla was in the bathroom) for some gum. It’s at this point where I got confused.

I’m fixing myself a Lean Pocket and am clueless as to what is going on around me. I hear Melanie say: “What is this, Kayla?” Kayla screams out: “Why are you going through my purse?” and then she starts crying and runs out of the house. I look around and Melanie is holding a pair of my underwear. She looks at me, throws my underwear down on the counter and dashes out the door. I don’t know if Kayla put a pair of my underwear in her purse; if Luke may have put them in there or Melanie did it as a joke, and I don’t want to ask because I imagine it will be a very uncomfortable conversation. To top it off, I didn’t even pay Kayla the $75 for the babysitting.